No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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