David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
