if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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