Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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