This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
