I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
