i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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