So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
