I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
