Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
