Im at strip club and am horny
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
