Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
