hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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