Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
