I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
