Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
