Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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