PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
