eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
