im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
