Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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