Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
