ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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