all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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