...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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