I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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