I've blown a few things in my day
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
