I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
