Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize