That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
