Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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