Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drunk is not a location!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
