doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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