EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
