She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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