So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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