So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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