the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
