I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
