some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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