Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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