My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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