If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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