if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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