She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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