Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
