problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
