Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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