Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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