And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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