U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
