A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
