there's paper in my vomit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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