I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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