i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think i got beer on your cat.
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